Happy St Patrick’s Day, everyone! I had intended a funny yet interesting post on this great Irish holiday, when people around the world can claim to be Irish. The day has not been obliging.
After 65 degrees F yesterday, today rained off and on, the sun peeping through thick, blackened clouds long enough to break my heart. And it kept doing it in some sort of bipolar, manic-depressive weather mood that kept me hoping and guessing and ultimately disappointed. I got up with a jangly mind, all razor blades and broken marbles rattling all my inches. The day progressed in fits and starts but never got itself into any sort of DAY. I have enough faith to know that God watches over us even on dark, cloudy days, but my body and my soul need sunlight.
It’s almost spring and I’ve been reaching for the sun all through the dark night, the deep, deep snow, the pitiless rain. But where is my spring? I’m not sure I can hold on. The waiting was ok, for awhile. But then the razor blades and loose marbles began careening around my mind and so I arose from fitful sleep in a fibro panic, all foggy inside. The world lately is unbearable, too much blood and gore, too much deception, too many lies, and childhood fears of abandonment beckon from the back of my closet.
Fighting mastodons of fear, I tap the keys to keep them at bay. No sunshine in my post today. Compelled to talk of false beliefs and charlatans whom the world will not miss. I just wanted to celebrate, to dance and hum and re-imagine nature’s beauty awaiting us all just beyond the door…Those bastards in ISIS took even that away. I’m just so tired of watching evil, vile people destroy beauty, love, hope. Even those meant to fight them off don’t care, too busy filling pockets and taking selfies.
Claws reach for me as the dark consumes my tiny soul, grasping for the sun.